Do you or your child's teacher still use sticker charts? Do you pay kids to make their beds or give them a smiley face on a chart for good behaviour? Its hard to persuad parents on why this is not a good approach, so let me leave it to the master: Daniel Pink and his book "Drive - The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us". Here is a short RSA animated summary that is a must see.
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About Alyson
Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and one of Canada's leading parenting experts. She's the author of the best-selling "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" (Wiley, 2006) and the new "Honey I Wrecked The Kids" (Wiley, 2009). Her popular TV call-in show The Parenting Show is now in its sixth season.
The media relies on Alyson's comments and opinions. You can find her interviewed and quoted extensively in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Readers' Digest, Canadian Living, Today's Parents, and Canadian Families and on TV shows like CBC's The National, TVO's Agenda, and Montel Williams.
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Excellent video!
Posted by: Irene | May 05, 2011 at 08:50 PM
Ack! In a way I don't even want to watch this video. We parents are pulled in so many different directions - what's good for your child to eat/do/watch/wear/think about/enjoy/feel, etc. that it can be overwhelming to hear about something that seems so innocuous yet, apparently, is not.
Posted by: Lisa Tabachnick Hotta | May 07, 2011 at 05:09 AM
I know the information out there is overwhelming. I think that is partially why people like to find a filter - someone like me - or another expert of mother hub/ portal etc.. that you feel a trusted like-mindedness with. That said - trust your heart and instincts too. And don't sweat the small stuff as they say.
Alyson
Posted by: Alyson Schafer | May 10, 2011 at 10:47 AM
Fine theory!
But how complicated is making your bed, helping out in the house, saying thank you etc?
Therefore, the video shows that for non cognitive tasks, money rewards, (stickers, carrots, etc ) DO work.
I actually don't use them with my kids. Seeing this video makes me feel ...wrong for not doing so!
Where is the fine line?
Laure Cohen van Delft
Posted by: Laure Cohen van Delft | May 12, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Hi Laure,
I have read the whole book so maybe I should point you there instead of short clip here. But the idea is, that we need to stimulate intrinsic motivation. Why do you say thank you ? make your bed? Social behaviours will be adopted by people wanting to contribute positively to a groups functioning - and children will do that if they feel a sense of belonging and affiliation / acceptance and appreciation in the home.
Alyson
Posted by: Alyson Schafer | May 12, 2011 at 05:35 PM