Won't Leave The Cat Alone

Does your tot terrorize the family cat?  Do you find yourself constant telling your kid to put down kitty? Its a common problem.  

Sure children take an interest in pets and love having a playmate, however if you're constantly having to remind and nag your child about leaving the cat alone - its not the cat that is interesting to your child, its your attention to the matter.  

The child's motivation behind this behaviour is not to play with the cat, but to play with you!  Its you're verbal nattering on that assures the child your are engaged with them ( albeit it negatively). After all, if the child chose to leave the cat alone, they would be ignored.  Need some of  mom's attention? Simple - pull the cat's tail. She can't ignore that behaviour,  She's sure to talk about that! 

The trick to bringing about a change then, is to ignore all "cat attacking behaviors".  If the cat antics no longer work in getting mom's attention, the child will abandon the behaviour.  No sense getting scratched for nothing. 

However, if we fail to address their real need to feel some sense of connection with you, they'll just find some other shenanigans to get into.  For young children distraction and re-direction to another activity or conversation with you works best.  Continue to build up the relationship through meaningful interactions.

Comments

[Kim Stevens]

I disagree. Sometimes it is just about the cat. One of my 5-year-old daughters loves to smell the cat's fur and pick the cat up. It is not about attention from a parent, it is because she loves to touch the cat. Sometimes you need to protect the cat. We don't yell or make a big fuss, we tell her it is about mutual respect and the cat is a part of our family and deserves respect too. The behavior is lessening over time, but I assure you, it's not about getting attention from anyone but our poor tormented cat. She is a very good sport, but licks her forelegs bare from the stress. We make tons of time for our twins with weekly family fun and a family game night and we also pay a sitter so each of them can have 90 minutes alone with Mom every week. They are spoiled with love and attention and also stuff (thanks to grandparents), but still we need to protect the cat.