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Christy den Haan-Veltman

Dear Alyson,

You are my parenting guru. I love what your work represents as it is exactly what I was NOT raised with. I attend your presentations when I can and am working on going to one of your bootcamps with my husband this year.

I also attended Calvin College, which is a Christian College and Evangelical but it is not Fundamentalist. I was encouraged to think for myself and I was not kicked out if I disagreed with anyone or asked the wrong question as I would have in a school with a fundamentalist background.

As a History major, my 'job' was to carefully read findings and reports, and always question the quality of my sources and my prejudices. Something else we agree on! :)

In fact, it was at Calvin College that I found the freedom and support to challenge my up-bringing and find a new way to parent myself and now my son.

Some Calvin Graduates go on to teach at prestigious schools around the world, such as Harvard, Oxford, even U of T! Rest assured that many Calvin professors and Alumni have questioned or dismissed this spanking ‘research’, but of course this is not in the news either.

I was shocked and dismayed that this research was done by a prof from my Alma Mater but I staunchly defend my education as non-fundamentalist. Like all universities (Calvin grants 4 year degrees), there were extreme fundamentalists there as well as liberals (even one who said that evolution is fully compatible with creation!).

I agree with your position on this issue but I hope you can understand why I needed to clarify your statements regarding the exact nature of the institution where this research was done. (By the way, I am relieved to tell you that the research was not published in a peer-reviewed journal--also not in the press.)

Many happy returns of the day, Christy den Haan-Veltman

Tara Bucci

Hi Alyson,

I agree with you and think there are other ways do discipline a child and make it work. We do a lot of time outs in our house. My husband and I argue of whether to put her in a corner (a place in my house where I can see her) or on the step(where I cannot see her). He thinks looking into the corner is awful(weird, I know)but my view is if she hates that corner so much maybe she will think again about hitting, throwing or even acting out. :p It's so crazy when I look back and think in my elementary school there was a paddle, with holes!

On another note, so glad to join you on the PTPA panel and I now going to go get your books for a good read :) They both look great!

Tara

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About Alyson

  • Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and one of Canada's leading parenting experts. She's the author of the best-selling "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" (Wiley, 2006) and the new "Honey I Wrecked The Kids" (Wiley, 2009). Her popular TV call-in show The Parenting Show is now in its fourth season.

    The media relies on Alyson's comments and opinions. You can find her interviewed and quoted extensively in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Readers' Digest, Canadian Living, Today's Parents, and Canadian Families and on TV shows like CBC's The National, TVO's Agenda, and Montel Williams.

Alyson's Books

  • Honey I Wrecked The Kids

    Breaking The Good Mom Myth

Alyson's Show

Contact Alyson

  • 3219 Yonge Street, Suite 341
    Toronto, ON M4N 3S1
    905-473-6600

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