When a missing child makes the news, every parent has the same thought flash through their mind; what if that was my child? Unbearable thoughts. This is a good reminder that we should all talk to our children about street safety rules.
First, some facts for parents. Most all missing
children in Canada are taken by a non-custodial parent who could not gain access through
the court system. Random abductions are very rare indeed. Canada is a very safe and friendly country. Sadly, most harm that befalls children in our society is inflicted by their family and caregivers, not strangers.
Still, we need to teach our children safety rules and review them a couple of times a years. Here are the rules every child should know, an abridged list from the Protective Parenting program created by one of my mentors, the late Larry Nissan.
1. I Won’t Go With Someone I Don’t Know
This is a rhyme your children should chant in their
heads. Have them say it out loud
to you. Have them practice saying it out loud to another adult with assertiveness. It’s a rule! Children should not have to decide if a person looks like a
nice person or a bad person. Its not their job to think, judge and assess. Its only their job to follow the family safety
rules.
2. Adults Should Seek Help From Other Adults – NOT from
Children.
If an adult asks for help, go get another adult to help
them. That means that even if they are old and have a cast or crutches and need help
carrying their groceries to their car; even if they have lost their kitten and also have a picture of that
kitten – don’t help. Here is why: Adults try to trick children, so
children don’t need to think about how “real” the problem looks, they only need
to follow the family safety rules: Adults seek help from adults, NOT
children. If you are asked for help, tell
the adult you will help, by getting your teacher, or parent or some other
adult to help them.
3. Never Display Your Name
Don’t dress your child with hats and T-shirts with their name
on them. It’s easy to convince a
child that the adult knows them by using the child’s name. Put labels on the inside of clothes,out of site, but where
they can be found if needed.
4. Family Code Word
Make up a family code word that ONLY your family knows, and keep it in their heads, no writing it down on paper to remember. If someone needs to pick up your
child for you, tell them the password and then create a new one since that one
is now used up. Tell your child to always ask for the password if its not the pre-arranged parent picking them up.
5. Take Two Steps Back
Always keep two steps back from a car. If a car slows down and asks for
directions, take TWO STEPS back from the car. You can give driving directions from the sidewalk. NEVER get into a car for any reason. Even
if it’s cold or rainy and they can drive you a few blocks home. Not even if they say your mom was in a
car accident and they are supposed to take you to the hospital to see her and she didn't have time to give the code. Remind them that since these can be tricky it not their job to evaluate the safety of situations, just follow the family safety rules!
6. A Weapon means SCREAM, YELL, KICK AND RUN
Abductors are also cowards (why else would they be doing this?) and even if they
threaten you, they will not chase you if you are running through a parking lot
or screaming. If they touch you, make a scene and shout at the top of your lungs: “This is NOT my PARENT”. This is even the case if they hold a gun. They don’t want to
fire a gun in public and be noticed.
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