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Comments

Yonge Charlotte

To your theory on the subject of getting children to sleep I suggest you add some concrete information. You could start by reading "touching: the human signifigance of the skin" by Ashley Montagu. There you will find real scientific literature on what happens to small chidren when they are left to cry alone. Your theories are dangerous to us as a society. I cant believe you actually recommend parents to ignore their children's distress in the name of social behaviour. Your theory and methods date back to the 19th century when Luthor Holt recommended banishing rocking cradles and rocking small children in arms because it gave them bad habits. For concrete information from a serious educated background on the subject see http://www.attachmentparentingdoctor.com/
Most sincerely
Charlotte Yonge

Alyson Schafer

Hello Charlotte,

Thanks for taking time to visit my site and for posting a comment. I try to write my posts to be about 400 - 500 words each since that is all the time and attention people give these things in one read. I have however posted hundreds of articles on my site and if taken in their totality, I think there would be less of a misunderstanding on my views on sleep training. My psychotherapy training is Adlerian. Alfred Adler has the most humanistic and respectful theory of humans and their need for connection with one another. He also stresses the importance of co-operation.

Its hard to separate a human "want" versus a human "need". I would give a child food ( a need) but not necessarily a cookie ( a want) if they asked for before dinnertime. I feel the same about children at a certain age demanding to sleep in their parents room or have their parents sleep with them.

Somehow readers of my post think I am asking them to let their infants cry and its been a misunderstand I have tried to correct through other posts - but as I say, people seem to read one post, leave me a hurtful note and leave. :(

I appreciated your note was respectful disagreement and that you shared resources etc... so thank you for engaging in the discussion. That's the beauty of the web, very co-operative!

Alyson

Heather

I found this book to be of little use ....interesting to read however I should have read it before I needed it I think it might have helped....a good read for a future parent...not one with a sleep problem at hand.

Alyson Schafer

Thanks for sharing that Heather. Did you have another book that was more helpful you'd be willing to share the title of with other parents in the same boat? People love having resources!

Alyson

Mira

I read this book in the first few months after my daughter's birth and followed Dr. Weissbluth's methods of following sleep cues. Although I did not always like his tone, this plan worked very well for us. My daughter is now 9 months old and started sleeping through the night around 6 months. We did a bit of crying it out, but it was minimal, I think because we kept sleep routines very consistent. The tone of the book can be a bit judgemental, but his systems work and my daughter is a very happy, confident little girl who gets lots of cuddles and love, despite sleeping in her crib alone and occasionally crying before she falls completely asleep. :-)

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About Alyson

  • Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and one of Canada's leading parenting experts. She's the author of the best-selling "Breaking the Good Mom Myth" (Wiley, 2006) and the new "Honey I Wrecked The Kids" (Wiley, 2009). Her popular TV call-in show The Parenting Show is now in its sixth season.

    The media relies on Alyson's comments and opinions. You can find her interviewed and quoted extensively in such publications as Cosmopolitan, Readers' Digest, Canadian Living, Today's Parents, and Canadian Families and on TV shows like CBC's The National, TVO's Agenda, and Montel Williams.

Alyson's Books

  • Ain't Misbehaving

  • Honey I Wrecked The Kids

    Breaking The Good Mom Myth

Alyson's Show

Contact Alyson

  • Contact Alyson
    Check out my new website at www.alysonschafer.com Alyson Schafer 3219 Yonge Street Suite 341 Toronto ON M4N 3S1 905-503-1354
  • 3219 Yonge Street, Suite 341
    Toronto, ON M4N 3S1
    905-503-1354

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